- Me: But if New Haven is such a crappy place to live, why does anyone choose to go to Yale instead of Harvard or Princeton?
- My dad: Eh, drama. James Franco goes there and he's a BIG STAR.
- Me: OK, anything else?
- My dad: Proximity to New York.
- My dad: I mean, it's not even a two-hour train ride. You could spend every weekend there if you wanted to.
How to come out Glee style:
- Friend: I'm gay.
- Me: Really? How gay?
- Friend: What do you mean HOW gay?
- Me: Like on a scale of Brittany to Quinn, how gay are you?
- Friend: Oh. I'm about a Santana.
- Me: Wow. That's pretty gay. But still not the gayest.
- Friend: Yeah, I'm still not Fabray gay.
A blonde woman boards a train at 8:00 A.M. The train departs from New Haven traveling south west at a speed of 80 mi/h. Approximately 1 hr later, 83.3 mi away, a petite brunette rushes to Grand Central Terminal, running at a speed of 4 mi/hr because taking a cab in early morning traffic is a bitch. How long is it before the two women meet and have sex in the bathroom?
Rachel said: Can’t believe that my entire high school career is gonna end the exact same way that started, just some sad jewish girl watching you getting all the attention from the blonde cheerleader.
Shouldn’t it be ‘watching Quinn getting all the attention from my boyfriend’ or something? Because when she says it like that, it seems like she wanted to be the one getting attention from Quinn…